Wednesday, 18 September 2013

emotional madness

Another month has passed, I didn't have the energy on the 16th to update the blog, sometimes it's like what's the point, I'm clinging onto someone that's not here and besides, who wants to read about all the emotional madness that rages in my head and in the pit of my stomach? I know for sure that I wouldn't. Maybe it's because I broke my leg and have too much time to over think and question everything. Maybe it's because I sold our house, the home that Mandy and Ellis grew up in, the place we had all our good, and bad, times. Maybe It's the thought that I will have these moments of complete insanity, guilt, frustration, anger and loneliness forever. I'm powerless to these things and have no control over them. Ok so I have a loving family and fantastic friends whom I couldn't live without and am extremely grateful for their love and support but I am and always will be incomplete. 

Hopefully my next post will be all positive and happy like that my cup's half full rubbish. Until then I send lots of love, peace and positive vibes to you all.

Just a passing thought that has kind of cheered me up, maybe it's just because it's so damned cold, wet and gloomy here at the moment and I'm in need of that little something called sun! Hey Ho maybe there is a little light at the end of this dark and gloomy tunnel.


  1. Just found this blog. I went back and read a lot of posts. I'm so sorry for everything you had to go through and she had to go through. It is amazing your commitment to blog and memory. She seems like she was an amazing girl. Keepin your family in my thoughts.
    Just a CF Blogger stumbling upon CF Blogs,

  2. Hi Cheriz, thank you so much for your comment. I am really humbled that people we have never met are still taking the time to read the blog and am so pleased that they can see what a strong and beautiful young lady Ellis was. Jo x