Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Christmas memories from our Jodie x

I want to say an extra special merry Christmas to Ellis. This time of year especially reminds me of Ellis she loved Christmas, we would always have a big get together and get dressed up, some of my fondest memories. I was laughing while putting up my Christmas tree remembering when Ellis lost her phone and found it in the Christmas tree the next year. So to the brightest star up there, our Christmas Angel, merry Christmas Ellis love your ssl Xxx

Sunday, 2 November 2014

Brittany Maynard

I struggle every day with the decision Ellis made to end her journey with us on earth.  However much I tell myself that it was her choice, I guess a mum should never have to see her daughter die. I hope Brittany's family are able to find a way of coping. RIP Brittany.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Happy Birthday Jodie x

Ellis and Jodie. Memories will keep you together x


Friday, 1 August 2014

What a wonderful, heartwarming end to the day.

Yesterday was Ellis's birthday and my dear friend Paula had kindly offered to take Ellis's flowers to the churchyard for me. After laying the flowers on Ellis's 'garden' and tending to her tree, she then had to say a speedy goodbye to Ellis and rush to the hospital to welcome her beautiful newborn baby grand daughter into the world. What a wonderful, heartwarming end to a sad and emotional day!

Congratulations to Nat and Danielle on the birth of baby Noa Rose Gentle-King.

I can't wait to see her beautiful little face and will post a photo as soon as possible.

Friday, 30 May 2014

Life is Beautiful, in memory of Lauren.

This week another of Ellis's lovely friends, Lauren 'Jaffa' Jones, sadly lost her fight against CF at jut 22. I'm not going to go on about the sadness and sorrow and the devastating affects that CF causes, as I'm sure you are all well aware of these by now.

Instead I am going to tell you about a film that I watched, the day after hearing the sad news. I have seen this film many times and it was probably one of Ellis's all time favourites. Ellis insisted it must be watched in the original form, with subtitles, as she felt it lost it's meaning when the voices were dubbed over. As always she was right.

                                                            Life is Beautiful.                                                           Like a fable, there is sorrow and, like a fable, it is full of wonder and happiness.

Saturday, 24 May 2014

sad :(

Strange to see Ellis's friends getting married, buying houses and having babies. All the things our angel will never be able to do. Feeling sad :(

Monday, 28 April 2014

Cáel's memories,

Just had a little heart to heart with Cáel as he asked why Ellis had to go to heaven. I explained that Ellis's lungs didn't work properly and as he is a good swimmer he understood that you need air to breath.

I asked what he remembers about her and not to what he has been told but to think of his memories. He told me that he remembers her Darth Vader mask (nippy) and the special ship (wheelchair) they traveled in. He remembered 'Moucha man' ie Kartek one of the transplant team who had a moustache and the funny lady who used to bring tea and biscuits and dance in the room, after going through photo's he pointed out the lovely Davina. He also spoke of Gary and the drawings they did together. He had some random memories that even I had forgotten, which made me really happy and sad at the same time. Most of all he said that if Ellis loved him when she was here then she would love him now too.

Remember what is important in life as it may not be with you tomorrow.

Much love to you all x

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Remembering the lovely Lisa.

One year has passed since another beautiful young lady and very special friend to Ellis passed away. The lovely Lisa, as you may know from previous posts knew Ellis all of her life and was there for her through some very tough times. They laughed together, cried together and shared their CF and transplant lives together, they understood each other like no one else could. 

Miss you Lisa hope you and Ellis are dancing hard.   

Sunday, 9 March 2014


It has been 3 years since Jordan passed away, remember so vividly how heart broken you were. We were driving home from Papworth when we found out, I could see the pain and fear in your eyes, you were so devastated, you shouldn't of had to go through all the things you did at such a young age, but I guess that's what made you so strong.  You both fought so hard and smiled and laughed through your pain, I can still hear you both laughing now. I miss you so much poppet. Hope you and Jordan are still laughing. xx

Saturday, 22 February 2014

Paul's aka Skinny's London Marathon Challenge.

Our lovely friend Skinny is running the London Marathon in memory of Ellis. When he applied I am sure he didn't think he would get a place, so now well he best run his little socks off.

Any donations would be greatly appreciated. All Proceeds will go to the CF Trust and our local Keech Cottage Hospice.

Go Skinny Go.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Every day my heart breaks.

I just want to reach into the photo's of you and give you a big cuddle, look into your beautiful eyes and tell how much I love you. I want to comb your hair and see that bright smile, that could light up a room and hear your laughter. There's so much I never said and did and every day my heart breaks. Life is so unfair, there I said it, the thing I try to avoid. But it's so true and I miss you.

Friday, 31 January 2014

A new chapter.

I hope you are all having a wonderful New Year and looking forward to 2014.

As you have probably noticed I haven't updated the blog on the 16th of each month as I normally do. The thing is, I have had some amazing drams since the start of the new year and I feel it's time for a new chapter, to write when I want to write or have something to say and to try and let go of the emotional ties to specific dates. This may be easier said than done but we will have to wait and see.

So on the 1st day of the New Year I awoke after having a strange dream that Ellis was taking a test and she went to Lisa for some advice, then a cupboard randomly fell off the wall and Daren came to the rescue and put it back up. They all then went to watch some TV and Gary was with the cast of TOWIE.

Lisa, Daren and Gary were Ellis's friends, all of them sadly losing their fight after having had lung transplants. The thing is, it felt so real, Ellis would of gone to Lisa for advice as they were friends from childhood, Daren was Ellis's transplant buddy and was very protective of her and Gary, well he loved TOWIE.

I also had a dream that Ellis was going to get a haircut and our beautiful friend Bibi was taking her. Bibi's car broke down so they got out and began to walk through this field when it started to rain and they were laughing, laughing so loud. Bibi was holding Ellis's hand and wrapping her up in her coat.

I was so moved by this dream, Bibi was such a wonderful person, whenever Ellis had an unexpected visit to the hospital or when things weren't looking good, I always got a call from her, like she knew instinctively that something was wrong. She died very suddenly in a car crash a month or so before Ellis, so the dream was very significant.

So here's looking forward to the new chapter's in our lives. We never know what is going to happen tomorrow so try and enjoy today as you won't ever get the chance to again.

Much Love to you all xx