The Fight

I am now 19 months post transplant, all the infections have taking a toll on my precious lungs, narrowed airways have caused difficulty i am in chronic rejection. My puffers are out of puff. They are damaged to the point where they can not be repaired  At this stage the plan is to keep my strength up, maintain my weight and keep infections at bay. It's not easy but nothing worth fighting for in life comes easy.

Mixed Emotions. :) :( :/ :@

I do get disheartened sometimes when i think back to how i felt after transplant and how i used to run around, now i'm back to square one, how did this happen? seemed like it was all in the blink of an eye. I see people doing amazingly well 5, 10, 15 years down the line, why did things not work out like that for me?

Then i stop and think, hang on Ellis? why you complaining? Some people don't get their transplants, some don't recover from the operation. Transplant had saved me, and my wish came true a wish i had since childhood "i wonder what it's like to take a deep breath in without it being restricted and just to be able to breath" I actually got to experience this, let me tell you i will never forget the feeling of the fresh air filling  the whole of my lungs. AMAZING. Also i think if it wasn't for transplant i wouldn't be here now, i wouldn't of seen any of 2011 infact, let alone see 2012. I wouldn't of had the best year of my life, i wouldn't of celebrated my 20th birthday, i would simply not be here.

People say the can't believe how well i cope, how strong and brave i am. To to be honest i have to be. I can't just sit around and mope all day waiting for they things take a turn for the worse. I'm going to make the most of my life, and do what i can when i can. CF may be able to suck the air out of my lungs but it can never suck my personality away. I'm still that happy, stubborn, music loving, crazy, witty girl.

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